early morning
still dark
birds begin
sound of crickets
an occasional insect
taps against the lamplit window
geckos laugh in the kitchen
coffee cools on the coaster
refrigerator hums
feet are bare
at 5am
I feel like shedding this nightgown

today marks the passage
41 years
of circling the sun
spinning upon this earthen sphere
as human
footsteps transporting
this body of cells
manifest as woman

I have breathed through these lungs
for four decades
trying to learn
and live
the love

last year
Fabulous 40
was just off-center
I did not feel fabulous
just funny

41 needs no fanfare
no heavy expectations here
just dinner
at a favorite restaurant
the table by the fountain
one friend, my husband, and my son
please no birthday songs
and a slice of green tea ice cream cake
well, that would be divine

today I’ll do a little bit of everything
keep trying to remember
presence
all these years I’ve been practicing
this pace
this existence
this experience of humanness in 3D form

pen to paper
fingers to keys
keys in the ignition
lips pressed to a cup rim
hands rinsing under water at the sink
inhaling oxygen
with all these trees
sharing air with ladybugs
hair moving in a breeze

I’ve been collecting
all of these moments
on the inside
where I can’t see
on the outside
shown as lines
freckles on my skin

all accumulated data
compiling to conclusions
and thus far
I think it best to rest

I know
nothing
I’ll say
thank you
keep remembering
the Love