Ever Present

 

I found her eighteen years ago in a small shop in Kathmandu, Nepal. I wrapped her hefty weight in thick cloth and carefully transported her in my backpack on my return flight back to the States.

She’s occupied various corners and shelves of every home I’ve occupied since. Her expression, no matter the environment, always the same: ever-present, content, gracious.

Inspiration for the morning.

Today at least 100 writers around the world will convene to put pen to paper and write our hearts. The theme is forgiveness, or Ho’oponopono, as the  Hawaiians call it.  The session will begin and end with a Hawaiian chant.

No matter where we’re from, we understand the concept of forgiveness, though the full experience of it can sometimes be elusive.

This will be my first time participating in this writing exercise, and though there’s no preparation needed in advance, I am mulling over exactly what I will write in the realms of sorries.

This morning I sift through generational layers.

I see flashes of a 1970’s rotary telephone, its extra-long phone cord stretched taut through my mother’s closed bedroom door.

An empty station wagon backing down the driveway with my father behind the wheel, alone.

The golden crucified Christ hanging as jewelry in the folds of a woman’s blouse standing by the donut table at the Baptist church.

My shuffling white Keds in the night grasses of summer camp, only starlight above, and silence.

My nine-month old in his car seat in the back of my Suburu as I pull away from that school bus up on blocks. I am leaving my baby’s father and some of my belongings to store, wishing we could stay but knowing everything would have to be entirely different, and nothing ever would be.

With Ho’oponopono there are four things to be brought to every situation of pain.

I love you
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you

We say this to others, but ultimately, this giving of forgiveness is to ourselves.

I look forward to seeing what emerges in this powerful alignment with writers. I hope you can join!

100-writers-hooponopono

You Don’t Need a Valentine

Love is for everyone, everyday! But what if you don’t have a mate?

I’ve found that even if you do have a one-and-only, it doesn’t mean that you are always in full alignment with the truest love – the love with yourself.

I did a lot of healing with my own heart before I finally met the Bohemian. But even after finding my soul mate I still had pockets within that were less than loving towards myself.

At the end of 2016 I was so tired of living with the self-critical voices in my head, I locked myself in a room of steam, surrendered to sweat, and earnestly requested the Powers that Be to help me. I longed for release from the weight of all of my self-directed negativity. I wanted to feel that unwavering love in my heart again.

The surprisingly clear message I received in that hazy heat was to begin by changing what I was feeding my cells. It was time to raise the vibration. I flashed on a friend and that thing she’d posted on Facebook. Some kind of cleanse with superfoods that made her feel a whole lot better.

I didn’t want to talk to anyone about the way I’d been feeling. I didn’t want to enroll in any program. But I had asked for guidance in that steam room and if this was the directive I’d been given, I’d comply. I stepped beyond what was comfortable and I humbly reached out to her to learn more.

What transpired in the short 10 days after beginning to put those superfoods into my body has changed my life forever. Yes, I shed 8 pounds in 10 days by healthily nourishing my body. But that was only a byproduct of something even deeper. What happened to my mind, my heart, and my spirit was even more profound. I was raised to the next level, no longer wallowing in that familiar stagnant pool of negativity and doubt. The berating thoughts dissipated and what replaced them was more patience, more appreciation, more gentleness with myself. I was home again. I felt the love!

It’s hard to be this candid on such a public forum, but if my sharing here helps anyone to reach out of their own funk into the radiance that they truly are, then these words are worthwhile.

There are tools to help us, and they come in the form of plants! Contact me and I can help you learn about these tools for yourself.

I give thanks to Tangled Roots for this incredible song that was part of the soundtrack during the 10 Day program of my heart opening.

To all the Lovers of the world: Love is for everyone and it’s in our own hearts every moment…just waiting to open up and flow!

It IS so good!