The Angle

Americans are going through a big shift today. What are the odds that the Bohemian is en route to the offices of US Homeland Security this morning, where they will fingerprint him as part of protocol? It’s standard procedure in the process he’s in, naturalizing as a US Citizen on Inauguration Day.

This photo of me was taken in Prague, Czech Republic, the Bohemian’s native land. He had to stand in just the right place, see things from just the right angle, in order to be able to capture the stretch of possibility behind me.

Perhaps the whole world is a house of mirrors. Reflections abound, and we get to choose our angle. We decide how we want to perceive what’s before us.

I choose the corridor of infinite potential. A pathway to all things good and true. A world elevating each other in love. Humanity dreaming its biggest dreams.

That’s my angle.

Transformation Foundation

We know that change is the only constant. But what about when we want a certain change and it constantly feels impossible?

There have been periods in my life when I embraced the possibility of change with wholehearted enthusiasm. I stretched myself to venture into foreign terrain (figurative and literal), open to anything that emerged within me and around me. I felt myself growing, evolving, and I reveled in the shifts. Life was good!

Perhaps that perspective was most profound in my twenties, when I had little responsibility and an wanderlust spirit. I pushed myself into my personal, scary places and lived the proof that I could rise to the challenge and thrive.

In my forties now, with a few more bills to pay and a much more sedentary life, I can appreciate some mellowness. I don’t feel the call to walk the edge of metaphorical cliff sides as much anymore. Yet in this comfort zone there has still been a longing.

There are things I want to change. Ways I want to grow. Habits I want to let go of. Bigger dreams I want to be living. Contributions I want to share with the world.

For a few years now, I’ve been aware of things I’ve wanted to change but felt helpless to make any truly authentic shifts. I can read plenty of inspiring words by the masters on how anything is possible, that change can happen in an instant, yet I haven’t been able to apply this wisdom to my everyday life. I can glance up from that metaphysical book of sage advice, see Jeb’s muddy footprints stamping a path to his bedroom door, and be gripped with impatience, anger, and frustration. Who cares about enlightened words, I just mopped the floor!

So how to make real change?

For so long I just haven’t felt strong enough. The yearning for the change, coupled with the repeated experience of everything playing out in the same old, painful way has been deeply disheartening. I’ve struggled in this reality for a good while now. It has seemed my mind has not been powerful enough to hold the shift. That my heart has not cracked open deeply enough to completely transform.

So recently I rested the heart and mind and tried the body. It is my vehicle, after all, and it’s with me every day. I chose to dabble in biochemistry. Stop putting certain substances in, start putting specific plants in. The results (40+ days into this experiment) have been remarkable.

I promise every post here on the Archives won’t be about superfood ingestion, but these are my chronicles of the everyday, and these days I’m fueled by phyto-nutrients that are shifting my consciousness and assisting in the changes I’ve been struggling for years to make.

As if by magic, I don’t have to tightly will myself to be patient with Jeb’s red-dirt footprints, I’m just less tense about it. Rather than hurrying to the post office, hoping I don’t see anyone I know in this small town, because I’ve got things to do and I don’t have time to stop and chat, and I don’t really feel that great today anyway, so I just don’t want to make connections with anyone… (yes, that was my day-to-day for a long time).

Rather than that, I’m open. I’m in a more relaxed space in the post office parking lot. My schedule demands haven’t necessarily lessened, but I’m much more available to seeing someone I know (or even someone I don’t). When I do cross paths with a friend, I ask how they are doing and I genuinely want to hear.

I’m not forcing my heart to have more interest in my fellow humans because I should. It’s because I want to.

This is an organic shift within me that I am simply observing with an intrigued curiosity. What changed? My food. That’s it. And by simply changing my food, the world within and without has shifted.

I think about the fat, bulbous, low-crawling caterpillar devouring plant-life in order to spin a cocoon. Does it have awareness of its mission? Does it know what it’s working to become? Or is it simply acting on ignorant instinct?

Regardless, those plants fuel an alchemy that would be unbelievable if we didn’t see its living proof. A radical transformation occurs, taking that thick and squishy body and changing it into a gossamer-winged, flying flower of delicacy. From crawl to flight. A completely altered organism. One and the same, but totally different. Evolved. Reimagined.

I’ve been gorging on the greens, and now I think I’m emerging from my cocoon. It’s a whole new way of being in the world.

I can be a stubborn, skeptical, worry-prone, doubter sometimes. But I held out a little hope when I friend suggested that superfood fuel had given her some wings. I’m so grateful to have met her on the path and followed that arrow she was pointing in the direction of superfoods.

I want to offer the same signpost for anyone that is wrestling with change. Affirm here, that yes, change is possible, and the body can be the foundation for that transformation.


Super Love

The following piece is a vulnerable sharing of where I’ve been this past year in mind, body, spirit. It will remain posted as an “Offering” titled SUPERFOODS on the home page here on the Archives. I am so grateful for all those following the Archives, and the time felt right to tune in and express where I’ve been and where I’m now going…Wishing healthy abundance to each and everyone of you!

This whole WordPress experiment began seven years ago when I started blogging as a single mother of a six-year old, posting nearly every day. At the time, the blog was both my challenge and my lifeline. Never did I imagine after my 40 day commitment that I would still be here, years later, typing out words to the ether.

For those that have followed the Archives over the years (thank you for your time and encouragement!), you may have noticed that posts from me have significantly dwindled as of late.

Currently, Jeb’s officially a teenager (with the ability to forge agreements not to divulge all of those personal mom-stories anymore). And four years ago I married the Bohemian, bringing a love into my life that I had dared to imagine, but wondered if I’d ever truly find.

Nowadays, Jeb does his own laundry and takes solo bus trips around town. I live with the love of my life in a house in the country. Last year we welcomed a dog into the picture, the sweetest Labrador I’ve ever known. We are healthy and living in Hawaii. I’ve come a long way from the days of raising a toddler in a converted barn with a hot plate, a John Deere tractor, and an empty refrigerator.

I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I’ll confess that at the end of 2016 I was left to really look at myself and see that despite all of the gifts threading my life, there was something deep within that was unhappy. There was nothing specific that I could pinpoint as the cause, there was just a low-level hum of angst that reverberated at the baseline of my everyday.

This dissatisfaction was made manifest in many ways. I withdrew from friends, hunkering down like a hermit, opting out of social gatherings. I lost inspiration in my art, writing less and rarely taking photographs. I became more impatient, hearing the edge in my voice with my son and husband over small household issues. As I watched myself souring to the nectar of life, I added insult to injury by looping critical, self-judgements in my head. Had I just become some post-40 year old woman with too many creature comforts to appreciate? Had I fallen into the realm of having luxurious “problems”? I judged myself for judging myself, and felt helpless to stop the negativity. I felt ashamed to be struggling when I knew there were others in the world with life and death predicaments, real problems. I believed I should be happy and felt guilty that I wasn’t.

As 2016 came to a close I dug deeper. It felt like the whole world was suffering through massive changes and I was powerless to affect anything. I sought my own quiet space within and earnestly asked how I could help. The answer that came was to make it better with myself. It made sense that if I was in a clear and balanced place, then I would be in finer form to contribute to the whole. Yet I wondered how to make things better for myself. I’d been struggling with this for years and hadn’t made any headway.

The Bohemian and I booked an impromptu session at the local spa to celebrate our four-year wedding anniversary. As I sat in the mist of the steam room, sweating out the funk of 2016, I welcomed in the new. I asked for more guidance. How could I help myself?

I guess I expected a directive that would be philosophical in nature. Something broad-reaching and poetically profound. But what beamed through the haze of that tiled closet of steam was something much more practical and utterly clear: change what you’re eating.

The guidance was surprising, but so apparent that I didn’t question it. Changing what I ate was something that I could certainly affect. I wasn’t sure how much of a difference it would make to the world, but if my coming in to balance was to start with food, then that was a small step I was willing to try.

What followed was a connection with a long-time friend, who had been regularly posting on Facebook about the transformative results of ingesting superfoods. She claimed they had radically changed her life, not only in her physical health, but in her mental and spiritual realms, as well. I was skeptical that some powder and tablets could help me anymore than the organic fruits and vegetables I was regularly consuming, but dedicated to following the direction from my steam-room request, I agreed to try the superfoods for 10 days.

What transpired is the basis of inspiration for this post. I’m finally articulating the dis-ease I’ve been experiencing over the last few years. This is a cathartic measure. And I’m celebrating the beauty of such a simple step that transformed everything in my reality. When I incorporated those potent, high-density, organic, non-gmo, superfoods into my body, my cells changed. My body changed. I lost eight pounds and gained muscle tone. My mind became clear. I was inspired. Errands in the world became opportunities to share connection with friends and strangers. My work was easier, as I no longer felt exhausted mid-day, but instead, experienced a consistent energy that sustained until bedtime. My patience with my family was markedly improved. The negative jabs towards myself in my mind, had been replaced with compassion and encouragement. I looked in the mirror and saw my true self. I was home again.

I know it may sound radical, or even hard to believe. That by flooding my body with phyto-nutrients, I could affect change on every level of my being in such a short time. But this is what happened. And the Bohemian noticed. The shift was so evident that he started sampling my goods. He’d long been struggling with a dullness in his days. Uninspired by work, and overtaxed, he was left exhausted by the end of the day, and feeling stuck in a habitrail of routine, going nowhere. His body was constantly sore, and the structural integration and acupuncture treatments he’d been trying were not eliminating the discomfort.

After three days of sharing my superfoods, my husband was whistling around the house again. That old tune from our early days together, “When the Saints Come Marching In,” was now coming through between smiles as he washed dishes at the kitchen sink. As we were lighter, Jeb noticed too. He began mixing up his superfoods power shake before school every morning, telling me that he felt healthier.

It’s been about 40 days since all of this began. We’ve incorporated the superfoods into our daily routine, and we are experiencing a potent shift. In this 40 day period I have been resetting my metabolism and bringing my body back in balance. The Bohemian is newly inspired, full of energy, whistling and planting trees. Jeb’s learning about what it feels like to put real nourishment into his body. We’re still a family finding our way, but our home reverberates with greater harmony and ease.

I didn’t think that change could be this simple. Superfoods may not solve every challenge life brings, but they offer a foundation of wellness that can assist in facing any problem we may have. Life is better when I put these potent, high quality, phyto-nutrients in my body. These tools have been so powerful for me I want to share them with anyone that is looking for a change.

Contact me, and I’ll tell you all I know. I’ll point you down the path where you can learn more. I’ll help you get the superfoods delivered to your door.

Never did I think that I’d be writing a blog post about this. But then again, I didn’t imagine after my initial 40 days of typing out some words on single motherhood, that I’d still be here in the Archives and sharing.

Lao Tzu said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” I encourage you to take your step. Let it lead you in the direction of your heart’s beckoning.

May we all be well and living our dreams.