Growing Fonder

The Bohemian flies out on a short trip and Jeb and I take him to the airport to catch a night flight.

We return home to a quiet house and I tuck Jeb into bed.

There’s a palpable vacancy in the stillness of our home. All of the lights are off in the other room. No splashing at the kitchen sink.

In the blue nightlight of Jeb’s bedroom he says, “I miss him already.”

These past weeks have had me zooming in and out in my perspectives. I’ve been watching chaotic pixelations de-blur to take organized form, then fuzz again on macro-vision. Sliding the view-finder in, then out.

Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reservedIt’s good to change the focal point. Feel the differences. Experience absence.

My heart is already full of fondness. Apparently, just growing more.

In 24 hours

oil change
ultrasound
then 6000 feet above sea level
walking on the wettest spot on earth

later
we sleep
seaside
at the house of the dead
wake to find
sunrise chips
watch whale’s
tails
slap
as we move
in slow motion
sifting through sea salt mist
and sand

simply sit

we’ll sample coffee
at the roadside tourist trap
but realize
we just can’t go to Costco
along our way
back home

Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved

Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved

Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved

Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved

Traveling the Seam

I’m in the seam
between
here
and there

waking to 30 degrees
and a silent morning
I’m hugged by foothills
veins of quartz
oak trees roots
and sycamore limbs

tonight I’ll be 3000 miles from here
sleeping with the constant
laughing geckos
rooster crows
and warm moonlight
cast
through coconut fronds

today I follow the thread

from the nearest town
population 180
where local post office
transactions are done on a hand calculator
receipts etched on carbon copies

to the authentic Mexican dinner
post cattle branding
where the cowboys dismount
and fill their plates
leaving their spurs and boots at the door
Jeb whispers
“I’m not sure we belong here, mom, because we’re not really cowboys”
but we’ve been invited
and embraced
in this home of the Master Horeseman
he’s known me since I was born

No, I am not a cowboy
and I am not Hawaiian either
I am just some curious human
address
planet earth
settling myself
in different patches
seeking a sense of home
in every landscape
of every moment
traveling the seams
between

taking flight
landing
exploring
settling
I’m clinging to the surface
of a world
swirling
through star dust
and darkness
can you believe it?

Life lets me

still breathing!
heart’s beating!
this is home
Love

                ~ for Dad and Robbin 

Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
photo by Jeb ~ all rights reserved