Living the Answers

The toast pops up, Jeb’s breakfast is ready. I’m wrapping up a quick morning catch up on the phone with my girlfriend who lives in California. She’s just dropped her kids at school and has pulled up to her next appointment.

She and I, we grab these windows. Try to make our time on the phone potent within the frames we’re given.

At the end of our conversation, she leaves me with some gems. Three questions, ala Deepak Chopra. The “Soul Questions” that he suggests be asked, daily, before going into meditation. I wipe the butter from my fingers and jot them down before we say goodbye.

Who am I?
What do I want?
What is my dharma (life purpose)?

Deepak’s advice: “Ask the questions…and then live the answers.”

So I don’t have a daily meditation practice. Even my regular yoga practice has had a hiccup since school ended and summer has Jeb home with me in the mornings. So I’ll do the hybrid thing for now and just try to remember to contemplate these questions throughout my day – like when I’m washing dishes or chopping garlic.

Or, like now, when it’s 5:30 in the morning and I’m typing at the computer. All is swirling around in my early morning head and there seems to be some thread between Deepak’s questions and that Stan Lee documentary we watched last night. The one featuring all of these people doing “superhuman” things.

Take Eskil Ronningsbakken of Norway, for example. What’s his dharma? I don’t know but the man has certainly found his place – right in the pocket – to be able to balance himself in such precarious positions. His epic aerobatics manifest the visual proof of being perfectly in the moment.

As I drive to my next appointment and juggle summer camp, work and the monthly phone bill, it’s a stretch for me to remember to ask my soul questions. But if I don’t, I can watch myself fall down into a rabbit hole of rat-race nonsense, so bleak and hopelessly unbearable.

I try to give that gaping, vacuous hole a wide berth. Stay far from its sucking edge. But some days its pull is stronger than others.

These Deepak questions seem to be a panacea for falling into this senseless abyss. My soul longs to live the answers. But how?

I suspect Deepak and Eskil probably have a phone bill to pay, too. But they seem to be mastering that sweet spot. Lingering at some consummate threshold – the true Divine – where the mundane and the profound entwine.

Eskil Ronningsbakken courtesy of http://www.getintravel.com (click the photo for more images)

While the House Sleeps

I wake
open the door
to fresh morning light
seeping on to
the plumeria tree
outside
the one the Bohemian’s been watering
it overflows in flowers
too much to hold
blooms sprinkle and fall
in the slightest breeze

besides observing the evidence
of prolific irrigation
I’m roused by the faint
onset of early traffic
from the nearby
high way
I sift through dreams
of wedding dresses that are too big
and question
whether the Von Trapp family
really walked out of Austria
to escape

I make summertime vows
to learn to sew
so I can wear what I want
wonder if a second cup of coffee
at 5:57am
is inappropriate
think about my girlfriends
who’ve been married for ten years
and how they muster up enthusiasm
for my recent engagement
but I can feel
it’s a tired, trying hope

I wonder at these postings
a potpourri of words
just flashes of passing thought forms
portending
or haphazard?

abundant flowers
an oversized dress
the sound of music
stimulants
and the seven-year itch

It’s a Tuesday
this morning
as the Shama sings
and all in my house
still sleep

courtesy of trekkyandy

Vacation as a Condiment

There was a moment
no, wait
I think it was more than one
all strung together
seamlessly

a weave of ease
the calm
the nothing-to-do
nowhere-to-go
no-appointments-to-keep

just me
the Bohemian
and the definition
of vacation

Sudoku poolside
sunset wanderings
chocolate chunks and a fireplace
that French wine at midnight

whoops
no cell reception
ahhh
no internet connection
oh
well

how I felt
so much
exactly like myself
free
and unshackled
from looming have-to’s

yet even
in utopia
I could see that corner ahead
it would surely turn
me back
to all the scheduled chores

oh
how
to take that sense
of centered peace
and fullness
and bring it in
to a 5pm grocery shop
desktop bill pays
and a second grade multiplication quiz

What’s for dinner?

I’d like a giant helping
of vacationaise
please
a juicy condiment
right on top
of my main course

Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved