Fight (gently) for Your Right

“You gotta fight for your right to party.”

My girlfriend paraphrases a classic 80’s Beastie Boys song. She’s not talking about boozing it up, though. What she means is that we all only have one life. This day. This hour. And the only one deciding how we live it, is us.

As technology ramps, making us available to each other every nanosecond, it seems expectations increase. Our time, these moments of living that make up a space in which we call our lives, is pulled in multiple directions. Each direction calls, as we attempt to navigate our way through the chaos.

So what am I trying to articulate here in this mass of unorganized words?

I am a fool that longs for balance!

All the while, reality appears to laugh at my desire to have things flow in some perfected sense of equilibrium and harmony. To think! There’s some place where I could sit and sigh, throw my feet up and sip a lemonade? Say that I’ve finally arrived at perfection? Ahhh! Sweet balance. Hah!

As I juggle schedules, a dinner that includes protein and greens, 2nd grade math, and some semblance of romance with my sweetheart over laundry (oh yeah, and maybe floss my teeth), I realize this idea of perfected balance is quite possibly an illusion. Some fallacy of the mind that there is a final destination to be achieved, when in fact, it’s all about the experience along the way. That big, messy, sometimes-out-of-control journey called Life.

So when my friend quotes the Beastie Boys, what I think she’s saying is that there are a million distractions on this outrageous odyssey. An infinite amount of possible paths that will gladly pull you along towards their agendas. It takes a little clarity, a little vision. You may have to wield the sword to carve out the life you want to live. This path may be a little uncharted but it’s worth the challenge to live the life you love.

photo courtesy of James Cridland

As I welcome so many beautiful changes into my life these days, I know the old routine I had grown accustomed to is shifting.

And I’ll be candid and tell you now (but if you’re one of the beautiful ones following this blog – you may have already noticed): I’ve been sleeping in for the last two weeks, barely able to post to my beloved Archives during my typical 4:30am writing hour.

Here’s where, I guess, I need to bring out the sword. Acquiesce and set an alarm, even though I have an aversion to alarm clocks. I’m seeking balance here. Fighting (with gentle, balanced intention) for my right to party.

But for the Peppers

They are small and quiet things
but for the peppers

how the Tupperware
and mass of lids
all a wreckage in the drawer
just got stacked and sorted

or that dirty corner in the laundry room
the brooms now in a row
floor swept

or how about the coffee grinder
the one he doesn’t use
shining and free
of bean dust

these silent signs
I notice

there is a suspect
at the sink
I see his bare back
busy washing
Hawaiian chili peppers
the harvest so big
just standing by the pile makes us cough

I ask things
like
“did you sweep out the laundry room?”
or
“did you clean the coffee grinder?”

without turning
“uh-huh”

simple
how this newness settles in
a few books in a foreign language
now sitting on my bookshelf
a jar of frankincense
befriends my sandalwood
my one peacock feather
has flourished now to eight

slow and seeping changes
but for the peppers

the Bohemian must have cleaned and chopped
four hundred last night
touching so many
set his skin on fire
leaving us to douse fingers
with gooey aloe
and noni lotion

I think I’m relaxing
into this gentle melding of our worlds
so loose am I
I bake chocolate cake at night
try new recipes
let Jeb stay up past his bedtime
no issue
these shifts

book shelves
drawers and cupboards
house soft and subtle changes
but yes
there is still spice

Man!
those peppers…

Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved

Not Yet Static

According to yesterday’s WordPress site statistics, the search engine term “encouraging screen saver” brought three seekers to the Archives.

After a two week stint of Jeb being ill, I have been trying to catch up on all things that fell by the wayside. A mission that seems to have pulled me from my beloved writing hour these past days.

I feel like a cliched, old person caught in the typical rat race when I say I’m seeking more hours in the day. Oh, please let that not be me.

I read yesterday’s search term listing and recoil in an image of the Archives trapped in some static screen save, forever frozen in my last post from (gasp) three days ago.

I note the entire term includes the word “encouraging”, so I’ll perpetuate the positive here. Forget copyright for the moment and hope someone found an image that somehow touched them. Remind myself that life has cycles and this is merely a short pause in a long life of creative expression.

Right now, it’s well past time to get Jeb up for breakfast. These words are a random and hopeful stretch. I have no photo for this post. Sorry, screen saver seekers, your search will come up short.

Looks like today is a simple announcement (mostly to myself) that this site may be on a pause of sorts, but it’s not yet static.