Puppy Love

It’s as close as Jeb will have for a sibling, and the nearest thing to a baby that the Bohemian and I will raise. On New Year’s Eve, we welcomed a new addition to our family. She is a four-legged, furry friend, and due to my up-in-the-night-to-take-the-puppy-out brain, I will not bother finding the creativity to give our new dog a pseudonym. She is simply Mae, and she is simply fantastic.

Jeb has been begging for a dog for the last seven years, and I’ve continued to put him off, citing many logical reasons for why getting a dog is just too impractical. Over the last six months I’ve begun seriously opening my mind and heart to the idea of actually welcoming a dog into our world.

If we were going to really do this doggie thing, I had wanted to go about the process with careful preparation. I began reading Cesar Millan to Jeb at night, and we all watched episodes of his series “The Dog Whisperer.” I poured over the training suggestions from the Monks of New Skete, and for the last few months I’ve been perusing Amazon.com, adding dog-related necessities to my cart, then filing them as “Save for Later.”

I have wanted everything precisely planned and well-thought out, any detail within my scope, considered and addressed.

With this formula in mind, I had hoped we’d find our perfect pet some time after the new year, but most likely not until the Spring.

It was certainly not in my scheme my to take a dog that we had never met. Nor had I imagined that Jeb, the Bohemian, and I would commit to our new family member, via text, in the airport, five minutes before boarding a plane. We sealed the deal with a thumb-tapped message that read something like: “At the risk of sounding impulsive, we’ve had a family meeting and decided that we would like the puppy…”

I would like to write more about how this adoption unfolded, because what ensued felt like a metaphorical labor for me. The Bohemian was right there beside me, as we passed through the many stages in finally bringing Mae home. But this morning, despite the fact that I set my alarm early to accommodate her pre-dawn potty break, along with some bonding belly scratches, I have run out of time. The clock says it’s time to wake Jeb for school.

Throughout my typing of this post, Mae has diffused her morning energy by wrestling with a rubber chicken not far from my feet. She has now exhausted herself, and fallen asleep with it resting by her head, as one soft ear flops over its feet. Outside the real roosters crow with their reminder. It’s time to go.

None of this is exactly what I had planned, and yet, it’s more than what I had hoped for. I trust the telling of this tale will find its outlet in the midst of puppydom.

For now, I get it. This is puppy love.

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The Web We Weave

The news is terrorizing. So I read in small doses, then turn my attention to the stories unfolding before me.

Jeb turns twelve, and I host four pre-teen boys for 24 hours of pop music, soccer balls, assorted candies and Kung Fu. They thank me a hundred times as they eat my snacks, giggle and rough house under rainbows.

He’ll still hug me and say he loves me in front of his friends. But if I try to pull up a chair and join the conversation, he gives me the dilemmaed look. He doesn’t want to be unkind, yet his eyes express the tween conflict that sheepishly requests…could you…sort of…please…sorry mom…but could you just…not hang out with us…sorry…please?

I have my fears of Jeb growing up. There is an infinite of Unknown that will encompass him, as a big wide world, along with an arsenal of hormones, continue influencing him beyond my control. There is only so much I can do to buffer us both from these inevitable forces.

We do not live in the rubble of a war zone. We walk through our small town surrounded by locals we know and trust.

But anything can happen.

The media will remind you of that.

Anything can happen.

The spider reminds me of this, too.

That there’s power in the web we choose to weave. One breath at a time, one action into the next, the filament pouring forth from each of us yields something.

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What do we want to create?

How do we choose to see this life?

We can recoil in fear from the massive spider that could potentially harm. Or appreciate the beauty of the bedazzled display of diamonds, refracting the lace of light after a rain.

Amble Ambition

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I’m still working on welcoming the emissaries of illness. That is to say, that I continue to find myself slowed down with a funk that’s been keeping me from going about my days at my typical pace.

In my last post I reflected on the value of non-resistance to disease, as it necessitated me surrendering to a shift in my world. Still exploring this concept, I took another leisurely morning walk.

Along the way, I met a few fellow travelers that seemed to be making calm, steady headway on the path. Intrigued, and wanting to take time to really watch, I found myself on all fours on the asphalt, observing and taking a few photos.

At one point, a bicyclist came pedaling by, looking puzzled and gruff, as though my posture was offending him. I said “good morning” but he just whizzed by.

If only he could have seen the gajillion legs moving in fringe-like unison, propelling the millipede across rocky terrain. Or see the way the sunlight shone upon the bulbous antennae, directing the snail in its delicate stream across wet grass.

As I’m finding my balance a little more everyday, my body heals and returns to equilibrium. And I know I will eventually return to moving with more ambition in the days to come. I hope I can still bring a bit of amble along the way.

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