“So where are you getting married?”

“We’re not sure yet. We have a couple of spots in mind, but nothing decided.”

“Ah…and you’re getting married…oh, wait, is it November 2013?”

“No, it’s this November 29th.”

“As in, November 29th…like, in 8 weeks?”

“Yeah,” I nod. I know what she’s thinking.

“Wow. Yeah, that’s coming up.”

Yes it is.

No invitations have yet been sent, as we’ve been waiting to determine the location of this modest wedding party. We’ve had our hearts on one spot but been unable to reach the caretaker. He’s a Hawaiian wood-carver and farmer. Doesn’t own a cell phone, and his land line has been acting up.

I finally make contact with him while waiting for Jeb at the bus stop.

“Ohh…you want it for November? Mmmm…let me see. I don’t have my calendar here…you say the 29th? I think I may have one workshop happening then…Yeah, I’ll have to check my calendar. It’s not here -it’s in this other place. Too hard for me to get to it now, but I can check it later and call you back.”

Island-style in every way. I’m imagining that he is on a corded phone and is simply attached to the wall where he can’t move to get to his paper calendar.

I’m also realizing that this island, in all of its mysterious ways, is making me sweat it out. Playing with me in this possibility. Perhaps we waited just too long to reserve our place to wed.

I surrender. “Ok, well, I guess we’ll just trust that if it’s meant to be, the space will be available.”

I’m leaning on the words of the man who will marry us. He recently asked if we had chosen a location. When I told him we still weren’t sure he said, “Just trust that your love will help you find the place.”

I soak in those words and feel them soften me.

Finding a place to get married is a luxurious problem, I know. People around the world are without homes, food, and clean water, suffering real difficulties. To fret over whether or not I get the garden setting for my wedding seems more than petty.

I try to keep it in perspective. As I have been trying from the beginning with this wedding celebration.

How do the Bohemian and I keep it simple, stay focused on the love, but throw a hearty party (nevertheless, simple) for those that are traveling thousands of miles to share with us?

One thing I’ve observed in this wedding thread is this: uncertainty gets exemplified.

When it came to my wedding dress, I didn’t know what I wanted at first. Poofy petticoats? Streamlined, modern with unfinished edges? I had to try a myriad of styles before I finally found “the one.”

Same with the wedding rings. After exploring brushed or polished, hammered or smooth, koa with titanium, or gold…the Bohemian and I sighed in the relief of simple. Two plain gold bands.

Again, a luxurious quandary, I know. I guess we all work with what we’ve got.

And what I have is this noticing that it’s a dance to look at all the options and stay focused on my heart’s desire.

Even though we thought we wanted the garden setting for our wedding party, we spent four months considering all of the other possibilities. Funny, how when we came back full circle, the garden setting was teasing us a bit. We weren’t sure about it before? Well, maybe it wasn’t sure about us either.

In the end, the Bohemian and I agreed, if the spot was available, we’d take it. The feeling was palpable. We were aligned. We knew what we wanted. The rest was up to Grace.

In classic farmer’s hours, my phone rang at 7:15am. It was the garden caretaker.

“Oh, hi, Jessica. I’m calling to tell you, the place is available for your date….”

Ok, then.

So the Bohemian and I have a date.
We have our wedding clothes.
We have someone to officiate.
We have the rings (passing through the hands of postal carriers as I type).
We have a location.

We even have confirmation with a cook and a rough sketch of a menu.

We’re growing the greens for our wedding buffet. New soil gets added to the beds this weekend and the kale starts get planted.

I know there are many details involved with a wedding. The traditional American ones, anyway. I’m sure I’ll keep dancing with the Beauty and the Beast of this shin dig.

I guess I’m learning that being clear helps bring to light what you truly want.

So what do we want, as we set intention together, moving forward through this sacred rite of passage into life as a couple, as a family?

We’re seeking simple. Happy. Natural. Gratitude.

Focusing on the inspiration of Love in the highest.

The rest, I’m going to trust, will fall into place.

Photo by Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved

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