photo by Jessica Dofflemyer

I find few opportunities in island-living for footwear beyond the standard flip-flop ‘slippahs’. So when there is an occasion to step into different shoes, I take it.

Last night my shoes and I had the pleasure of dancing with the many vibrant and loving souls that turned out to support Wendy and Cary Valentine.

Earlier this year, Wendy was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer known as  glioblastoma.  She and Cary were told the prognosis was fatal.  Ever-committed to the power of love, authenticity and choice, I’ve watched Cary and Wendy turn brain cancer into an opportunity to grow.

from The Garden Island newspaper - Sealight Studios/Contributed photo

In these circumstances, I see the Valentines as fellow travelers who are further up the trail than I.  They’ve crested some expansive vista point and are looking at the view which I cannot yet see.  They’ve walked the edge to get there, confronted peril and lived to tell the tale.  I look to them for guidance on my path – I call ahead to them and ask, “So, tell me.  What do you see?”

With this question, answers come to me in images.  I see Wendy, post-brain surgery, laughing on a summer lawn, careening down our friend’s giant slip and slide.  In another flash, I see a stage full of musicians with Cary at the congas, his smile beaming a love so strong I feel moved to tears.  Not in spite of, but through this cancer experience, they are loving life.

I dance with joy to Cary’s percussive beats in special occasion shoes, though at the end of the evening the heels are closeted and I’m back to standard footwear.

We have been taught to try to put ourselves in other people’s proverbial shoes.  And though I have tried with the Valentines, I think it is impossible for me to truly comprehend their journey.  But their trek is not in vain.  Their experience can inspire us all.

Key words they’ve shared with me filter through my mind: 

Just be real.
It’s all about the heart.
It’s Love.  That’s it.

These gems of wisdom are called back to me from two courageous people who have forged ahead.  These are words to grow on.

And just when things are getting so very serious, I can hear Wendy and Cary enthusiastically encourage their final sage advice:

Put on your dancing shoes!

2 thoughts on “November 6, 2010

  1. Aloha Jess,

    So well written. Full of heart. WOW!!! Cary & I just got finishing your blog and were equally moved by your gorgeous choice of words and sentiment.

    Mahalo for being you – an exquisite human being!

    Love ya,
    Cary & Wendy

    Like

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