October 20, 2010

Last night I began reading Stones of the Sur, the book of photographs by Morley Baer with poetry from Robinson Jeffers.  It speaks of a time in the 1930’s when artists like Ansel Adams and Alfred Steiglitz honed their craft and inspired.

Baur and Jeffers found a home on the remote and rugged coast of Big Sur, where the landscape shaped their art.

photo by Jessica Dofflemyer
photo by Jessica Dofflemyer

Looking forward to the time in six weeks when I’ll be reunited with this magical coastline, I poked around at some of my own photos from when I was there last winter.

On an isolated stretch of beach, I meandered with my new love picking a few special stones along the way.  When we ascended the bluff, we looked down and photographed our footsteps that wove apart and then together.  So smitten we were with our blossoming connection, every detail had significance.   Warm heart flutters and butterflies mingled with tangerines and chocolate in the salt air.  My pocket full of stones eventually made it into a special box, bought at the Phoenix Shop at Nepenthe, specifically to house them.

I still have the stones.  And I’ll return to Big Sur soon.  But pathways have crossroads and sometimes we diverge (I now note in the photo our steps fall far apart).  Waves come and sweep the sands.  They shape and smooth the rocks.

With Baer and Jeffers I’m reminded that the art remains – words and photographs capture the essence of a feeling.  The love of a land and the experiences lived there.  These gifts are alive forever in our hearts.

October 19, 2010

photo by Jessica Dofflemyer

It’s night and I’ve been up since 5am.  This post may be short and cryptic.

Today ended with words of wisdom:

The tree is an excellent teacher for one seeking truth.  It serves as a true model.  Consider that when the wind blows, there is no tree that moves in the opposite direction.

When you are seeking the answer to a question, look to a tree.

October 18, 2010

It began at 6 am this morning
coming out of a dream about revisiting the home of my first love and his family.  Everything feeling out of sorts and wrong.

Jeb wakes with a sore throat and stuffy nose.  No school, and it’s on.
Homeopathic cold and flu tablets.  Get the thermometer.  Coffee.  Call the school.

Begin text messaging fellow DJs to fill in for my afternoon radio show.  I lean on the two men I can count on in a jam.  They both reply before 8am and one agrees to host my show.

Ginger turmeric tea with honey for Jeb.  Work.  Post office, then pharmacy.  $50 in supplements. 
Back home a load of laundry.  More juice for Jeb.  He sleeps, I work.  New sheets on the beds.  Dishes in the sink.  Soup (Ok, from a can).  Bath with epsom salt and eucalyptus.

Jeb has taken a vow of silence though he writes “I dont no wai I cant toc mom.” When I ask if it’s because his throat hurts he shakes his head ‘no’.

I have told him about how I went to the healing circle a few nights ago (Oct 16 post, if you’re referencing).  How the man hugged me and my heart felt love.  Now Jeb wants to keep reenacting it.  Tonight in sign language he directs me to come to him and hug him.  He makes words with his mouth with no sound.  He remembers the details I described and he makes his motions match exactly.  He wants to be the one to give me the hug and have me fall back in surrender to the healing.