there are the dare devils
climbing cliff faces
walking tightropes
wrestling alligators
jumping from airplanes

I have no desire
to throw my body from great heights
no need to face mortality
through risking life and limb

but in the realms of the heart
that dangerous
vast space
of vibrantly pumping chambers
I dip more than a toe
in the rich life force waters

I keep diving in
to try

in early exploration days
I’d just part my chest like curtains
show every vulnerability
of my beating heart window
a few select men
I’d let them
reach in to hold it in their palms
just coursing with raw
and risking love

like some thrill seeker
that wants the rush
of the triple corkscrew roller coaster
I still seek the butterflies
to metamorphose
my mind

rattle me
to take the chance
that transparency and truth
will transform me
to a freedom
only found when we
stop
protecting

at the center
of gut and head
these hearts are delicate
though love’s resilient

through bruised
battered
broken
numb
eventually
I’m back to scaling
the dazzling
death-defying
(please give me little deaths)
terrain
of the heart

what is it
that compels me
to dare to be so scared
to face all fears
and feel?

these odysseys
may end
with greater vistas
but there’s no promise
it will be shared

maybe part of the thrill
is knowing
full well
where I may find myself

clinging to some slippery slope
heart pounding
head surrounded
in brightly colored butterflies
morphing

vision vast and new
I may well
be
alone
in this quest
breathless
but oh
so very much
alive