That’s About the Size, Where You Put Your Eyes…

I keep thinking about the clown and the saint.

It’s a story shared in Jan Frazier’s “When Fear Falls Away” about an evening when Baba Muktananda (a spiritual teacher and master) was offering darshan (a blessing that is given from a guru to a disciple). Devotees were lined up to have a turn to kneel before Muktananda and receive his gift. A whisp from the feathers he held, fanning the air of enlightenment that circled him, and one could possibly be opened to a window of new consciousness. A heightened connection to God, bestowed.

So in Frazier’s telling, there was this darshan taking place, an air of reverence there for all devotees in this sacred ceremony. Everyone dressed to their best as they prepared to come into the presence of this Master. And as the line moved along, each person making their way to Muktananda, there came into view a clown. Yes, a bonafide clown. Or at least a man dressed up as one. Bright polka dot suit, ruffled collar, white face paint and those huge, red, painted-on lips. His eyes, thick, with expressive clown make-up.

As the story goes, when the clown came before Muktananda, people began to laugh.

“…Everyone in and around the darshan line was laughing…everyone, that is, but Baba. Baba was just swishing his peacock feathers over the crown of the curly orange wig bent before him- just as he did with anyone who came up in the darshan line. Now the clown had raised up on his knees to face Baba. The guru was looking into the clown’s eyes, into the pupils at the centers of the bright red circles like bull’s eyes, looking deeply into this man who had made himself (for whatever reason) into a clown.

Finally, Baba sat back in his chair, seeming a little confused by all the laughter. He leaned down to {his translator} and asked her in their native tongue what everyone was laughing at.

{The translator said} ‘Why Baba, don’t you see? The man is dressed as a clown!’

Then Baba looked again at the man- looked, it may be, with his ordinary eyes, his merely organic eyes. It was only then that he saw the external of the person- the clown costume of him. And then Baba laughed, joining the others in the good time.

…{initially} when Baba looked at that man, he really and truly did not see a clown.”

(excerpt from Jan Frazier’s “When Fear Falls Away“)

This story of the clown and guru keeps coming back to me as I contemplate perception. Was Baba Muktananda looking with his third eye? What was he seeing when he looked at the clown? What was he seeing as he lived his days on earth?

What do each of us see through our own unique filter of perception? Quite possibly, very different worlds, often living the assumption that everyone sees what we see.

As I’ve pondered this clown story, the tune of a little song comes trailing to my mind. Its origins melded with childhood memories, its source, unknown.

That’s about the size
where you put your eyes
that’s about the size of it

With technology on my side, the world-wide web and a search engine bring me to an old segment from Sesame Street. I don’t recall the visuals, I only remember the chorus of the song that I heard as a child on television, probably, 25 years ago. I think Sesame Street was on to something. And I’m glad to see that the sentiment took root within me, still profound today.

Who would have thought that clowns, Sesame Street, and ascended masters could all connect to deliver a profound message on perception. Goes to show…that’s about the size…

Sticky

You think about things when it’s high noon and August, and you’re on your hands and knees in a small, hot laundry room with your head in the dryer.

What got me here was sticky. Gum to be exact. And it seems our family was learning what I thought was a given, the basics of gum protocol 101.

1. Always throw gum in the trash.
2. Once in the mouth, gum stays in the mouth until finished.
3. Never put gum packs in clothing pockets.

In this particular instance, it seems that eight year old Jeb forgot #3 and as I scrubbed the bright pink goo from the dryer’s interior, I realized I’d skipped laundry protocol #1: check pockets.

Jeb would have been the one with his head in the dryer, cleaning, if it weren’t for the fact that he was asleep. Taking a much-needed nap after falling ill at weekend’s end. Seems to me he’d partied just a little too hard in our end-of-summer hurrah. Three late nights, a camp out, and plenty of sugar treats – gum included. It all culminated to a sore throat, no appetite and little energy. I was glad he was resting (school tomorrow, “sick” or not) as I found myself seeking meaning in my little gum-gooed dryer world.

Flashes came. Like how only a day ago, the Bohemian had stepped out of the car in the parking lot, right on to someone’s thick, discarded gum. The warm, green piece making stringy cling to the bottom of his flip-flop.

Jeb and I made the collective “Ugh!” While I took the opportunity for a parental reminder.

“See why it’s important to always throw your gum away?”

And later that night we tried s’mores around the campfire. Except that the marshmallows we had packed warmed to the point of cream in the car ride. The Bohemian and I attempted to cut chunks and roll them onto the roasting sticks. Eager hands moved toward me for graham crackers and chocolate and I somehow got distracted holding one marshmallow stick in my hand. Within seconds I realized I’d dipped the stick just low enough to land on the bent head of the Bohemian, tangling the marshmallow in his hair.

“Oh, no!”

Ever patient, he waited for me to work the blob from his hair, but even once it was detached, a thick piece of white, sugar stickiness glowed on his crown in the firelight.

“You’re going to have to eat that out of his hair, Jess,” a friend laughed.

Absurd at first consideration, it became the most practical, given our location, far from running water in the night. Besides, I guess I felt it was my penance for the oversight. So, yes, I did take a big swig of water and douse the ends of his hair, dissolving – and eating – the marshmallow out.

“See that, Jeb?” my friend chimes in. “Now that’s true love.”

So, there in the dryer, still soft-scrubbing the Pollack-inspired smattering of gum, these thoughts of the sticky theme came to my mind. In these moments, one searches for some meaning to go with aching biceps and beads of sweat.

No real major revelations came. Except that sometimes things get sticky. Try to follow the basic protocols to avoid getting stuck (i.e.: store gum appropriately, check pockets before laundering, travel only short distances with marshmallows in Hawaii, and watch where you let your s’more stick fall). Breathing generally helps, too.

And of course, if you’re the one that gummed it up, make it right. (So Jeb got out of that one, but he is now on gum hiatus for a spell).

In the end, doesn’t it just feel really good to get unstuck? In our little world, the Bohemian’s shoe is clean. His head, marshmallow-free. And that dryer…it’s cleaner than ever.

courtesy of mahalie

Moon and Sun at the End of the Road

As a final farewell to summer (Jeb starts 3rd grade tomorrow), the Bohemian, Jeb and I caravan with friends to the end of the road.  The forces of nature on a rugged coastline have prohibited humans from paving a highway that circles the entire island.  Islanders get a horseshoe of a road instead, leaving a large section of mountains and ocean remote and pristine.

The end of the “u” where we camped is known for great sunsets but I found myself enamored with the morning light, rising moon and sunrise clouds.

Thank you, Summer!

Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved