Wherever I am, the world comes after me.
It offers me its busyness. It does not believe
that I do not want it. Now I understand
why the old poets of China went so far and high
into the mountains, then crept into the pale mist.
I tried that trick a friend told me about. Jumping up and down within the first 15 minutes of waking. Repeating the mantra “Abundance is here now!” Or inserting whatever you wish to be here now: “Love is here now!” “Health is here now!” “Happiness is here now!”
He says it’s a fun way to set the tone for the day. But I live on the second story so I was sort of making quiet, 5:15-in-the-morning hops. I was too lazy to go outside in the dark on the wet grass. So my jumping jack intention may have had only half-power. But you, see, I’m trying.
Following these threads. Listening for guidance.
Tomorrow my wisdom teeth are extracted. Yesterday, Jeb got a prescription for antibiotics for some funk in his chest. Today’s events are yet unknown.
If I begin to think about the work I have to do, the preparations needed for the upcoming days and the obligations I have to fulfill, I think those jumping jacks would turn into the fetal position. Alas, a mother has no option to assume this position.
In fact, in this “now”, a mother may have no more time to post a rambling Archive post about following a thread, as her sick child emerges from bed with a sweaty head and whispered voice.
I’ve leaned on the words of William Stafford before. Quoted him right here in the Archives. I like to think of his reference to the thread as a description of the artistic process. But it’s not only that. It’s about so much more. So much more, that it then becomes elementary.
courtesy of noii
Perhaps that thread is simply the essence of life. An essence most readily touched breath by breath. That respiration our heartbeats track, weaving moments to days, days to a living.
In a day, chaotic, like today. Uncertain. I hold the thread of the present moment, following it and trusting that all will unfold in some way that will be ok.
“Now is here now!” And I guess later will be here later.
One step at a time, I follow this thread. Watch for magic in unexpected places. Hopefully laugh a little (or a lot).
Trust.
The Way It Is
There’s a thread you follow. It goes among things that change. But it doesn’t change. People wonder about what you are pursuing. You have to explain about the thread. But it is hard for others to see. While you hold it you can’t get lost. Tragedies happen; people get hurt or die; and you suffer and get old. Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding. You don’t ever let go of the thread.
They say you can run, but you can’t hide. Looks like that little smiley molar has finally caught up with me.
Remember?
Back in November when I first started writing to the Archives, there was that dental visit. The wisdom teeth assessment. And me, ever-hopeful to avoid the surgical knife, researching positive affirmations to heal my third molar complications. Or at least hold the inevitable at bay.
I’m not knocking Louise Hay or the power to heal yourself through the mind (or other alternative methods – if you read my posts of late, you’ll know that is quite possibly happening for me in other areas of my physical health).
Truth be told, I don’t think I was very dedicated at repeating Louise’s uplifting mantra, specifically aimed for wisdom teeth issues. Not that it’s my fault these teeth are giving some trouble. Frankly, I’ve been monitoring their progress via x-rays for 8 years. They’re determined. They’re on the move. They want down and out. Free to be!
Ok, so maybe they’re not going about it on an exactly straight and narrow path (what’s the fun in that?!). Maybe they do have a bit of an angle in their trajectory. Looks like they need a little guidance. Some help in setting them free, once and for all.
courtesy of walknboston
And in their slow-mo descent through my gums, perhaps I need the Louise-Hay-positive-affirmation-reminder as a peace-maker. An antidote to the suffering that comes with resistance. A way to embrace this extraction. Frankly, until this morning, I’d forgotten the maxim completely.
“I open my consciousness to the expansion of life. There is plenty of space for me to grow and change.”
Ok. I feel like I’m expanding already. Busting out into new realms. Just like my top two wisdom teeth, which, as of Friday, will finally see the light of day. And then I guess it will be their ultimate demise. I can bless their passing. Let go with love.
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