Best of Luck

When you say you will submit to the submission process, it means you gotta give in all the way.  Surrender to the entire spectrum.  Sometimes things don’t go the way you’d envisioned and that’s just part of the experience.

I read somewhere about a writer that kept a little monument by his desk of all of his “rejection” letters.  They were his trophies, a testament to the process.

So I’ll post here to the world, the evidence of my writer’s journey.  My marker in the road.  I wouldn’t be holding a letter saying ‘thank you and best of luck’ unless I’d taken steps onto the publishing path.  There’s rich value in the act of trying, living fully, taking the chance that I might not “win” or be received.  This aspect of the artist’s path is what inspires me the most.

Ok, maybe I’m trying to put a happy spin on something that simply is a bummer.  Everyone wants the prize (and the grand winner of this contest gets five grand!).  But truthfully, I’m not deterred.  I truly feel the value in the experience of writing.  Feeling.  Creating.  Expressing.  Sharing.  Who knows if anyone ‘gets’ it or even cares.  Yet something compels me.

By submitting, there is a surrender.  A release.  No longer hoarding it in a journal on my shelf, this process completes the circle through the risk of sharing.  My ultimate hope is that it would inspire you to express yourself fully and freely – no matter if your creation were judged to be a winner or a loser.  The winning is in the doing of it!  If there are bonus  perks at the end (being able to afford to travel and write more would be nice) then bring it on.

Until then, I’ve got more submissions circulating and I’ll embrace my ‘best of luck’ letter as a blessing.

So best of luck to every soul that didn’t get what they thought they wanted. And more power to the amazing things that awaited them instead – rewards of which they hadn’t even dreamed.

Wayfaring

Releasing myself from the confines of gridlocked rows and the google cells of spreadsheets, I make my way to the soft give of sand where ocean touches land.

Cool, wet granules mold beneath my step.  I slip into movement that is one with the air.  Slow and graceful.  Honey-like.  No where to go.  Just rolling in thick, sweet time.

Before me on the tide line, two brothers with shaven heads, dark skin.  They look like little monks in board shorts, tossing their fishing lines to the water.  I smile and pass them by, feeling the layers of scheduling and scribbled lists drift further in my wake.

Body moves.  Breath enters.  Water laps.  Breath exits.  Trade winds rustle kamani leaves on the tree.

As I walk between the scattered chunks of corral, a mantra surfaces. 

Let the way be shown.

Driftwood, broken shells, a million jagged pieces of reef – orange and white and brown. I step among artifacts as soupy sand seeps between red toenails.  Last week’s passing fancy – a bold springtime painting – does not suit my lifestyle.  My barefoot excursions have chipped the crimson polish and stained red-clay dirt on my pedicured heels.

I approach the section of the beach with all the visitors.  I’ll be an alien on vacation watching curious humans commune with nature.  A shirtless man moves thumbs across an electronic device at the shoreline.  Brightly colored towels hold women reading novels in the sun.  Pale children run, knee-deep in water, toward parents holding cameras on the sand.

Passing through the bottleneck of tourists, I make my way over the lava rocks onto the single lane road that buffers houses from the sea.  Million dollar vacation rentals rub against island surf shacks.

A group of spring-breakers have set up seaside camp not far from their rental Jeep.  Coolers with cocktails and a boom box casting Zepplin.  Despite all of the accoutrements of vacation, these bathing suit bodies seem lost.  On the set without a script, it’s as though actors showed up on stage with no director.  A few extras linger by the car and pass a pipe, coughing in exaggerated proclamation to their holiday in paradise.  They watch me roll by and jokingly make apologies for their hacking friend.

I am just the observer.  Smiling and being honey on the shoreline.  Passing more seaside cottages with blow up rafts tossed on the lawn.  Rental cars sit with doors swung open in the drive.

“How do you spell luau?”

An East coast accent drifts down from an open window.  I’m walking near the coco palms, but I can see his cursor in the Google box searching for his Hawaiian feast.

Asphalt beneath my chipped, red toenails begins to disappear.  Sand tosses at the border, eventually overtaking man’s paving.  As I walk further toward the river mouth, black tar segues to earth and scattered potholes.

A fishing camp of tarps and trucks houses locals talking story.  Snippets of pidgin lilt above sunlit waters, catching on the breeze.

“If you go looking for one sign on if you should go back to Georgia, then that’s it, brah!”

I am still moving.  Slow and steady.  Watching and listening.  Wind moves my hair.  The soft cotton of my sarong wraps my shoulders.  Toes direct me to the place where the river meets the sea.

I stand in the swirl of salt and fresh.  Two currents colliding together to wrap my ankles in refreshing cool.  In the distance beyond the corral reef, white waves crash and sizzle, sending sound my way in delayed time.

Thoughts drift to unconditional love. 

Let the way be shown.

I feel the human pull to find that place on planet earth.  We all want our destined paradise.  We search for the path to lead us there.

Here I steep in the simplicity of shifting sand, two waterways, clean air and my beating heart.  I am fed by elements, mingling in the stories of my species.

Let the way be shown.

My eyes fall upon an abandoned sand castle, its once-defined form now smoothed and crumbling.  Nearby, stacked stones and etchings in the sand.  This time it’s not the typical names.  No “Jordan loves Kelly.” No “aloha from Kauai”.

Just one simple word is drawn.  My directive carved in capital letters:

FLOAT

Dreaming the Foreign Familiar

I wake at 2am to a word burning through the layers of dream time.  It is a foreign word, not of my native language, yet as I sift between sleeping and waking, I know its meaning without thinking.

I’m aware enough to realize I’ve been bestowed a jewel from the depths of dreamland.  I hold it precious and repeat the word, keep it close until I’m conscious enough to move across the room and write it down.

Nacimiento.

I studied Spanish in high school and college but have found virtually no place to use it in the last twenty years of my life, living in New England, Canada and Hawaii.  I have often fantasized of residing long enough in a land of foreign tongue that I would begin to dream its language.

Nacimiento.

A good friend was recently visiting the island.  She’s teaching herself Portuguese.  With Spring in the air and newness budding, our conversations often turned to dreams and visions.

“If you want to make real change, Jess – to really have something different happen in your life – you need to learn a new language.”

In the beginning was the word, and the word was good.

Nacimiento.

Matter is made manifest through vibration.  A microscopic world of atoms dancing.

Our thoughts and feelings resonate through the channels of our throats.  Minuscule movements reverberate and sound the curving lines of alphabet and release them to the air beyond our bodies.

Habitual thoughts bring tired words falling through our mouths and re-creating the familiar.

New language brings fresh undulations.
New matter.
A new world.

Nacimiento.

masculine noun
1. birth (de niño, animal) ; sprouting (de planta) ; hatching (de ave, reptil)
•    de nacimiento -> from birth
2. source (de río)
3. origin, beginning (origen)
4. Nativity scene (belén)

A mere reporter, I consider this foreign-yet-familiar word and how it has threaded to my dreams.  Woken me from sleep at 2am in all its Source and birth and newness.

24 hours of nacimiento life threads lay before me with no specific form. No answer.  Just a collage of curious details.

Nacimiento, the name of a road in Big Sur.
Nativity.  The birth of my son.  How I had my own kind of angel tell me of his coming, long before his conception.
The man on the sandy road yesterday.  Passing by with the 12 inch cross tattooed across his heart.
The Shroud of Turin depicted on the book cover beside me, “Love Without Conditions.”
Nativism.  The philosophy proposing that our minds are born with certain innate knowing.
Yesterday’s walk along the tide line of the Source.  Where I found the simple reminder etched into the sand:  FLOAT.