Posted on by Jessica Dofflemyer

I Just Didn’t Wake Early Enough

Yesterday may have had that 2:47am magic of quiet stillness, but this morning I’ve slept in, and now this mother has fifteen minutes of writing time before bus-stop-drop-off prep ensues.

It’s still dark, the coffee is warm, and the sound of swishing cars move at a working pace, already, down the road.

Our house still soaks in sleep. I sit at my desk by computer screen light, surrounded: the school’s Jog-a-thon donation envelope, tickets (to be sold) for the pancake breakfast, National Geographic’s family subscription offer, and a book by the Dalai Lama on the power of patience.

This morning I don’t have photographs to post. No poems.

I am not unhappy. Not uninspired. Just not rubbing elbows with the Muse this morning. Chores sidle up instead.

Today will be an art in getting Jeb to the bus stop with ease. A dance of remembering that I’m an Earthling Cling-on, lucky to be breathing, while I auto-sum spreadsheets, empty the compost, drive my little car.

I guess everyday is a humble offering in expression, here. In life. Today just feels more mundane.

I’m diving in, though, on the hunch that perhaps it’s all that much more profound.

Posted on by Jessica Dofflemyer

Math and Mental Floss

“Three times three…”

“Nine!”

“Four times four?”

“Sixteen.” Jeb pauses and looks at me. “You’re going to write about this on your blog aren’t you?”

“What? This?” I ask.

3x3

It’s the evening side of a Wednesday. We sit on the bed in his room. I’m drilling him on his third-grade multiplication facts while flossing my teeth.

“Yeah, mom. You write about moments like this.”

“I do?”

“Yeah.”

He’s right, in that the Archives does seek to find the precious in the simple. The profound in the mundane.

Flossing and math are, yes, quite ordinary. And for me, they bypass the neutral category, falling right into the realm of aversion.

Yet, here we sit, in what Jeb believes is a prime moment worth noting.

“Well, I guess I have to write about it now, don’t I?” I say, smiling.

So, here I type. About how sometimes magic doesn’t sparkle. That perhaps anything, no matter how dull or distasteful, can be a gateway leading deeper into presence. All it takes is the noticing.

This time Jeb was the observer, opening my mind.

Math, floss and a blog (along with some nine-year old enlightenment) – plenty of material!  I’ll take it, and keep working with what I’ve got.

Posted on by Jessica Dofflemyer · 2 Comments

Post Script to Working Title

PSAt 2:39am I wake thinking about my most recent musings on the dreamy life of being a housewife (see Working Title).

I wonder if I’ve simply become shallow. Fallen prey to a Western perspective of infinite resources and entitled abundance which has completely narrowed my view to a series of “I wants.” I fear I may have lost touch with the essence of sheer existence on this planet. Forgetting that I am but a mere mortal clinging to the surface of the earth, lucky to be breathing and having any form of sustenance to support my little life.

So I dig deeper.

What I find beneath the collection of “I wish I had…” (more time at home, more space in the day, less distraction) is an arrow pointing toward, what I think, may be one, fundamental human need. A requirement that arises after the basics – food, water, shelter – have been met. And that is to live a life that is in alignment with what one values. A need to live true. True to our hearts.

Different strokes for different folks, and certain values may vary from person to person. But what I suspect, as I look around at my fellow humans, is that many of us are living a life that is not quite in line with whatever it is that we hold most dear. That through circumstance and our present economic structure, many are forcing themselves to adapt to a life that feels foreign to their basic nature.

I realize that for an unemployed person, hopeful for any opportunity for work, my trite piece on the desire to be a housewife may sound luxurious. But on further introspection, what I see behind my words is a longing to live my life the way that feels most natural, most in line with everything I cherish.

For me, those precious things are home, garden, family, art.

It may be easy to say that these yearnings are like wanting to have the cake a la mode and eat it too. That one should just be happy that they have a job, a roof over their head, food on the table. Yes, I am very grateful for these things. There have been times in my life when some of those were not so easily attainable.

But what would the world look like if we set our sights a little higher? If the basics were established for everyone and we could move on to living life that expressed each of our unique talents and gifts? Everyone of us has something great to contribute to the whole. I believe our hearts’ desires are the compass points, there to help us find our way in gifting that.

Maybe my Working Title piece was a bit of a laugh on myself that, perhaps, my greatest desire is to inhabit the simple (sometimes unfairly ranked) existence of a “housewife”. Albeit an artistic one.

I guess this post script is here to chronicle my deeper ponderings on the question of whether I’m caught with the case of the ‘want mores’ or if there’s something deeper tugging at my spirit.

I’ll continue to reflect on these deep thoughts.

But before things get too philosophical, I’ll offer up my next Archive post, The Poo Pile: the superficial musings on the crappy side of being married to a farmer.