All before 7am…







let’s pretend time is a line
and I’m standing
right here
upon it
bubble wrapping
antique plates
that were my great grandmother’s
down that line behind me
are other relics
mementos that rise
to the surface
as if god
stirred a pot of stew
letters and postcards
newspaper clippings
slip up
and out
into my hands
photographs of my parents
forty years ago
wedding attire
and full innocent
love
in their smiles
here I am
holding these delicate dishes
they’ve moved down the line
up to me
passed through marriages
and family cupboards
setting places
for hopes and disappointments
now in my hands
they’re leaving California
I’ll meet them in Hawaii
and if time is a line
I’m right here
looking forward
to delivery confirmation
new old dishes
and the Bohemian
at my table
we can play house
pick herbs
and make dinner
by the kitchen window
ahead
behind
on the line of time
here and now
I stand
boxing heirlooms
beside me
my son
the swirl of his father
and myself
all blended in his smiling
eight year old eyes
my living proof
of love embodied
and the reminder
of the brilliant pain
that life will change
but time is not a line
so neat straight and narrow
so the generations
surround me
all those choices
facets on a diamond
simultaneously existing
with plates in my hand
a laugh from my son
a vision of a love
and what’s to come
I guess it doesn’t matter
what shape time takes
I’m just here
breathing
holding relics
visions
my son
now
in the stew
bubbling
in change

In my California mornings, I reinvigorate the fire.
In early light, the sun not yet crested above the surrounding hills, I bundle in layers and follow my breath to the fire pit. The coals from last night’s big Oak round have burned down to a few pulsing cinders.
With cold hands, I gather the small sticks, a toss of Oak leaves, and begin to fan the flames. Sometimes Jeb is with me and we can huddle around the smokey pile, feeding and blowing in delicate attention. Other times he’ll wander off to stand among the dogs that wrestle on the frosted grass, leaving me to stoke alone.
I can pull my hair back with one hand and bend in close to breathe long and full into the orangey-red embers. I’ve been building fires most of my life and there is always a satisfaction felt when my own exhalation makes flame. My breath to fire, wood crackling to catch, a small blaze building.
This warmth gathers us. Family members from three to sixty-three, wander out in the morning with steaming mugs in their hands, big coats and sleepy eyes. The fire wakes us. Even once the sun has cast slants upon the melting lawn, the fire will still hold a steady flame. Spirals of smoke will dance in light throughout the day.
We realized last night that the fire has been burning without pause for three days. A heartbeat pumping, our family’s outdoor hearth is only an ‘h’ away from the love-life source that keeps us living.
We laugh at how I’ve taken to keep it burning in the morning. I love the unending cycle of stoking coals to flame.
“Well, whaddya think? Let’s keep it burning til 2012!” we say as we sit and warm our hands.
We smile in the cold as the knees on our jeans get toasted. My father’s quiet tone
drifts in the swirling smoke, our eyes fixated on the flames.
“…there’s something about a fire…”
