Living the Answers

The toast pops up, Jeb’s breakfast is ready. I’m wrapping up a quick morning catch up on the phone with my girlfriend who lives in California. She’s just dropped her kids at school and has pulled up to her next appointment.

She and I, we grab these windows. Try to make our time on the phone potent within the frames we’re given.

At the end of our conversation, she leaves me with some gems. Three questions, ala Deepak Chopra. The “Soul Questions” that he suggests be asked, daily, before going into meditation. I wipe the butter from my fingers and jot them down before we say goodbye.

Who am I?
What do I want?
What is my dharma (life purpose)?

Deepak’s advice: “Ask the questions…and then live the answers.”

So I don’t have a daily meditation practice. Even my regular yoga practice has had a hiccup since school ended and summer has Jeb home with me in the mornings. So I’ll do the hybrid thing for now and just try to remember to contemplate these questions throughout my day – like when I’m washing dishes or chopping garlic.

Or, like now, when it’s 5:30 in the morning and I’m typing at the computer. All is swirling around in my early morning head and there seems to be some thread between Deepak’s questions and that Stan Lee documentary we watched last night. The one featuring all of these people doing “superhuman” things.

Take Eskil Ronningsbakken of Norway, for example. What’s his dharma? I don’t know but the man has certainly found his place – right in the pocket – to be able to balance himself in such precarious positions. His epic aerobatics manifest the visual proof of being perfectly in the moment.

As I drive to my next appointment and juggle summer camp, work and the monthly phone bill, it’s a stretch for me to remember to ask my soul questions. But if I don’t, I can watch myself fall down into a rabbit hole of rat-race nonsense, so bleak and hopelessly unbearable.

I try to give that gaping, vacuous hole a wide berth. Stay far from its sucking edge. But some days its pull is stronger than others.

These Deepak questions seem to be a panacea for falling into this senseless abyss. My soul longs to live the answers. But how?

I suspect Deepak and Eskil probably have a phone bill to pay, too. But they seem to be mastering that sweet spot. Lingering at some consummate threshold – the true Divine – where the mundane and the profound entwine.

Eskil Ronningsbakken courtesy of http://www.getintravel.com (click the photo for more images)

Seized

I am a well-oiled
working
machine
daily yoga tune-ups
deep inhalations
stretching me
to reach
beyond
be flexible

but somewhere I seized
not like
carpe diem
though the day
the present
became painfully clear
back locked up
muscle jammed
into some
raised knot
gripping
breath
and movement

I’m too young
to be laid up
grunting
when I bend down
uttering words like
‘my back just seized up on me’

loved ones offer wisdom
‘just breathe into it’
hands moving circles over soreness
‘you’re gripping there, let go’

I don’t know exactly what it is I’m holding on to
why I captured myself in this seizure
ears hear ‘let go’
and my back wants to know how

somewhere there is a river
an infinite current
coursing more than just my spine
where we float
(or thrash, or dive, or swim – you decide)
maybe in my try
to be flexible
I forgot to drift
so I’m going to bob
here
in the ripples
slowly spin
within the eddies
let the river move me
be seized
overtaken
by all things greater than
me

courtesy of Kevin Saff

Prose in Corpse Pose

I’m supposed to be dead.

Instead, I’m crafting prose in my head.

Yes, I’ll admit it. My monkey mind is not at rest.

I’m in Savasana, or “corpse pose” – the final posture in the yoga series, where one completely rests as if ‘dead’. But I’m far from pushing up daisies.

Instead, my mind weaves words. This very post, as a matter of fact.

As I try to cross to the other side, I guess I’m secretly happy that there seems to be no writer’s block in the afterlife.

At least not this morning.

courtesy of lululemon atheletica