Piecing Shards

He was the one that even suggested
I try to glue it back
I thought I’d be making something new
some abstract mosaic
from the wreckage

I’d failed the matriarchs
my grandmother
her mother
the dishes passed down
a few just didn’t make it still intact
in their journey across the Pacific

He says it’s not my fault
I packed them well
those guys
they just throw the boxes around
don’t really care

And now
he’s slipped the glue out of my hands
has casually overtaken
the piece-together project
I gladly surrender
to his desire
to match the seams
perfectly
which is hard
when hundred-year old pottery
goes to shards

I love his exacting efforts
celebrate with him
each piece
one by one
as they stay in place
leaving us with only
a pile of thin shreds
millimeter shavings
of color
he tries to match
to the dish surface

toothpick in hand
he gently edges them
minute fractions
nano scale proportions
“ahh! I got another one!”

when we are left
to nearly dust
we reach our stopping point
he considers ways to treat the surface
so you can’t see the cracks

It’s ok
I tell him
let’s not try to hide them
I don’t know the tales of this bowl before me
but I know it has a story now
how after a trip across the ocean
they got shaken
but the ever-diligent Czech
pieced it together
with a smile

This bowl’s going to hold
hands of bananas
overflow with lilikoi and limes
live now
at our table

 

Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved

Traveling the Seam

I’m in the seam
between
here
and there

waking to 30 degrees
and a silent morning
I’m hugged by foothills
veins of quartz
oak trees roots
and sycamore limbs

tonight I’ll be 3000 miles from here
sleeping with the constant
laughing geckos
rooster crows
and warm moonlight
cast
through coconut fronds

today I follow the thread

from the nearest town
population 180
where local post office
transactions are done on a hand calculator
receipts etched on carbon copies

to the authentic Mexican dinner
post cattle branding
where the cowboys dismount
and fill their plates
leaving their spurs and boots at the door
Jeb whispers
“I’m not sure we belong here, mom, because we’re not really cowboys”
but we’ve been invited
and embraced
in this home of the Master Horeseman
he’s known me since I was born

No, I am not a cowboy
and I am not Hawaiian either
I am just some curious human
address
planet earth
settling myself
in different patches
seeking a sense of home
in every landscape
of every moment
traveling the seams
between

taking flight
landing
exploring
settling
I’m clinging to the surface
of a world
swirling
through star dust
and darkness
can you believe it?

Life lets me

still breathing!
heart’s beating!
this is home
Love

                ~ for Dad and Robbin 

Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
photo by Jeb ~ all rights reserved

Listening to Stones

As Jeb and I spend our last days in California, I’m scanning the surrounding hills for our next adventure.

When I was about his age, these foothills watched me in summer heat, slip into swimming holes where toes mingled with algae and pollywogs. In the winter, my siblings and I would pull on our ‘moon boots’, the shoes made for snow but excellent for slick grass and granite boulder hopping. We’d comb the hillsides, climbing up – sometimes on all fours – and then run back down, digging our thick-soled shoes into the decline.

Long before us, Native people lived among these rocks and crannies. They were intimate with the Oaks that gifted the acorns that fed them. Not far from the creek bed, there still remains the grinding holes where generations of women sat working to feed their families. A tradition practiced for so long it shaped stone.

As a children we could sense something special here. There were no stories or explanations. But we could feel it in the rocks. Memories retained in granite. The limbs of an old Oak tree echoing of something ancient and mysterious.

I like to take Jeb here and let him feel it too. In a time and place where natural spaces are rapidly being lost to construction and pavement, I know this place, these moments, are rare.

This year my father gifted me last year’s Christmas poem, not long after we brought his grandsons down off the hill. It seems we have our own small tradition. The grinding holes are no longer used, but if nothing else, the landscape is still here to experience. These rocks abide to share. The foothills whisper.

Now with my son, I lean in close and listen.

CHRISTMAS 2010

                                                  The dead,
too, denying their graves, haunt
the places they were known in and knew,
field and barn, riverbank and woods.
– Wendell Berry (“2008, X.”)

Even now the headstones claim
little flats beneath nameless draws
either side of the house, rough

granite boulders set at the head
of deep holes filled for horse and dog –
where the deer lay down to shade

when I was a boy, and women healed
the spirit, burning sage, chanting
until they fell asleep. Hollow ground

to horses’ hooves where my children
played pretend, those great imaginings
that beg to fly – now walk their sons,

listening – feet wet in grass.
To come home for Christmas can be
a gift – so many voices welcoming.

 – John Dofflemyer

courtesy of Amanda Bouscher
courtesy of Amanda Bouscher
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved