No Escaping the Raccoons

That which you resist persists. And so it was with the raccoons in my dream last night.

Those bulbous, bushy-tailed bandits were stalking me.

Not that I have any real prejudice against raccoons, but I do know they can be fierce if crossed. My first roommate in college, case in point. Her shins were covered in scars from the attack she had suffered as a girl when her neighbor’s ‘pet’ raccoon escaped. She was merely walking in her own yard when their paths crossed, it got startled, and charged her with teeth and claws.

So last night in my dream, there were not one, but two of those striped ring-tails, lumbering about the perimeter of my family’s fence. I thought myself wise to simply climb the gate and avoid all contact.

photo courtesy of Ingrid Taylar
photo courtesy of Ingrid Taylar

But as soon as I clambered to the fence, it was as if I’d sipped the ‘Drink Me’ potion left for Alice in Wonderland. The garden gate grew immensely tall, taking me to an extreme elevation, leaving the raccoons pacing far below. But not for long. Suddenly, with agile grace and a subtle air of “ah..ah..ahhhh,” the raccoons scaled the vertical plane of the fence with ease, not only meeting me at my height, but surpassing me.

Now, I was clinging to the fence at a point much-higher-than-comfortable, looking up at the raccoons that were peering down upon me from above. I could shimmy back down the mammoth face of the warping fence line, but these slinky wild things would surely shadow me. Worse yet, they may just pounce on my descent.

Enter new characters to this dreamtime dilemma: right on cue, friendly neighbors with supportive advice and apparent raccoon-handling experience, appear in the dreamscape to gather at the gate below me. They make the verbal confirmation that my strategy to climb out of the reach of raccoons was ill-conceived. These animals are natural climbers and I am out of my element. It is suggested that I attempt to stay above them, rather than beneath.

All agree that the only way out of my predicament is down, and I should prepare for the raccoons to follow.

It is relayed to me that the best mode of operation with these curious, but pesky animals, is not to let them sense my fear. That I must stand in my own power and exude the confidence that conveys, without question, that any semblance of attack upon my person is simply inconceivable.

So when I reach the ground, as expected, my two followers are soon to land as well. I embolden my stance, position myself firmly above them, evoking the spirit of “Dog Whisperer,” Cesar Milan. Few words are spoken, it’s all vibe. And within moments, each raccoon is promptly lying down, just like canines obeying a command.

All sense of urgency or threat is gone. I am the master of my world, my sphere, my body. Nothing is going to strike upon me.

I’ve stopped trying to climb away, and the raccoons are in repose, having ceased their mischievous chase.

Alright, then. With that little nighttime victory, let’s get on with the day.

See if some of that sage courage can seep into my waking world.

Chop Wood, Carry Water

With the press of the Return key I splinter the cell borders of a spreadsheet, Quit Excel, and move on to master another task. Something simple (sort of). Uncomplicated. Time-tested.

I joked with a friend not long ago about the complexities that come with the comforts of householding. Oh, how I could long for a simpler way. Chopping wood and carrying water sounds concrete, straightforward, no heady accounting or updated software necessary.

Maybe the joke was on me, as within days, the water tank at our house malfunctioned, leaving us with no running water for 48 hours. I found myself lugging 5 gallon buckets from the working tap next door to our kitchen sink. Be careful what you wish for, I reminded myself as I heated wash water on our stove top.

These days, the water’s flowing just fine, but I still find myself grappling with the continual details required to keep our lives organized. And our world is really pretty simple, relative to most. This weekend it was apparent that I could spend all of my time at my desk, computer computing, spreadsheets auto-summing, but what I really wanted was to take a break from my mind.

The Bohemian recently fell an Ironwood tree in order to make room for coconuts. He and I hauled a truck load of the logs to our house, but they needed to be split before they cured. The wood is known to be so hard that if you wait too long, they turn stone-like, too difficult to chop.

Looks like wishes really do come true. As there I was, Excel spreadsheets and paperwork far behind. On Sunday, it was just me and the axe, splitting wood and stacking.

2014-03-17_wood

The Parrots

The house we live in was initially the dream home of some serious bird lovers. The story goes that the man and woman who built this house, came to the land with a vision of a massive sanctuary for exotic birds. Thirty years later, what remains of the dream is one abandoned aviary near the mango tree, a stained glass window of a parrot, and an elusive flock of rose-ringed parakeets.

The Good Neighbors have only recently been spotting this group of jewel-green aerialists. They move in sync through air as one, then land deftly in the trees.

It felt like a harbinger of our arrival to the land. That kind of birds-of-a-feather, coming home to roost, sort of thing. Add to it the origin of our soon-to-be-home. The dwelling built atop a hill on remote land, by a man who envisioned ‘netting’ the valley below to create a habitat within which his tropical birds could fly.

As the tale is told, the man and his wife eventually had new dreams. They left the house and moved away. The birds, I’m not sure where they went. These days there is a flock of wild peacocks down the road. And I have spotted the occasional pheasant in our nearby fields.

But as for what The Good Neighbors simply call “The Parrots,” I had only seen them once in a bright, green flash. At the time we had yet to move into our house, and that sighting was the last I’d heard of in the neighborhood.

So I took it as an omen of all good things, when sitting at my desk the other day (now happily moved into our new abode), I looked out the window to see the perfect lime-winged sky dance through the trees. Synchronized swimmers in flight, their wing-tips pointed in dancing perfection, landing them all upon the branches. There they perched, shining in their foreign shade of emerald, looking so out-of-place that one could only think them magical.

I can’t help myself, I gather data. My internet searches narrow their mystique. Labeled “Rose-ringed Parakeets,” they apparently are regularly sighted at the local mall and county legislative building. They enchant tourists and concern wildlife managers. They’re also a menace to agribusiness, as they feast on seed and corn crops at rapid rates.

Perhaps they are the forerunners in the fight against genetically modified crops, as these feathered friends have been warring with GMO corporations since the turn of the century. A 2001 article about these “pesky” parrots details the following:

“…Control efforts already have been launched by farming concerns on the Big Island and on Kaua‘i, where three seed-corn companies have permits allowing them to shoot the pesky rose-ring parakeet.

‘I don’t think they kill them,’ said Tom Telfer, Kaua‘i district wildlife manager for the state Department of Land and Natural Resources. ‘They mostly just scare them away.'”

Hmmm. Not sure how a bird being shot by a gun isn’t deadly, unless the sharp-shooters aren’t sharp, or they’re only playing with BB’s. Seems like more Alice-In-Wonderland logic from the world of GMO’s and land management departments to me. But I will not veer into politics now.

Because I am depicting the fantastical, feathery flight of these airborne acrobats. The ones landing just beyond my window. These harbingers of home. These dazzling dancers making a rare appearance in our world.

Are they remnants left from one man’s grandiose endeavor? Are they angels dressed in jade sent to clear destructive farming from our island? Are they here to stay, or simply passing by?

Of course it’s possible they could nest here, lose all mystic quality and become a garden pest we dread. But for now, we’re still enraptured.

I tell Good Neighbor Mary there’s been a spotting.

“Good. Glad to know they’re still here.”

Yes, right here. The Parrots have a haven.

courtesy of gailhampshire
courtesy of gailhampshire