Traveling the Seam

I’m in the seam
between
here
and there

waking to 30 degrees
and a silent morning
I’m hugged by foothills
veins of quartz
oak trees roots
and sycamore limbs

tonight I’ll be 3000 miles from here
sleeping with the constant
laughing geckos
rooster crows
and warm moonlight
cast
through coconut fronds

today I follow the thread

from the nearest town
population 180
where local post office
transactions are done on a hand calculator
receipts etched on carbon copies

to the authentic Mexican dinner
post cattle branding
where the cowboys dismount
and fill their plates
leaving their spurs and boots at the door
Jeb whispers
“I’m not sure we belong here, mom, because we’re not really cowboys”
but we’ve been invited
and embraced
in this home of the Master Horeseman
he’s known me since I was born

No, I am not a cowboy
and I am not Hawaiian either
I am just some curious human
address
planet earth
settling myself
in different patches
seeking a sense of home
in every landscape
of every moment
traveling the seams
between

taking flight
landing
exploring
settling
I’m clinging to the surface
of a world
swirling
through star dust
and darkness
can you believe it?

Life lets me

still breathing!
heart’s beating!
this is home
Love

                ~ for Dad and Robbin 

Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved
photo by Jeb ~ all rights reserved

Time Line

let’s pretend time is a line
and I’m standing
right here
upon it
bubble wrapping
antique plates
that were my great grandmother’s

down that line behind me
are other relics
mementos that rise
to the surface
as if god
stirred a pot of stew

letters and postcards
newspaper clippings
slip up
and out
into my hands
photographs of my parents
forty years ago
wedding attire
and full innocent
love
in their smiles

here I am
holding these delicate dishes
they’ve moved down the line
up to me
passed through marriages
and family cupboards
setting places
for hopes and disappointments
now in my hands
they’re leaving California
I’ll meet them in Hawaii

and if time is a line
I’m right here
looking forward
to delivery confirmation
new old dishes
and the Bohemian
at my table
we can play house
pick herbs
and make dinner
by the kitchen window

ahead
behind
on the line of time
here and now
I stand
boxing heirlooms
beside me
my son
the swirl of his father
and myself
all blended in his smiling
eight year old eyes
my living proof
of love embodied
and the reminder
of the brilliant pain
that life will change

but time is not a line
so neat straight and narrow
so the generations
surround me
all those choices
facets on a diamond
simultaneously existing
with plates in my hand
a laugh from my son
a vision of a love
and what’s to come

I guess it doesn’t matter
what shape time takes
I’m just here
breathing
holding relics
visions
my son
now
in the stew
bubbling
in change

courtesy of paganpages.org

In Range

I had to drive down the road
to find a place where I was in range
pull out
and park
just above the spot
where the trickling creek
gets deep
and full of water fowl
living in low-slung trees
along the banks

I thought we had a missed connection
when my cell phone
got voicemail
what could I say
to convey
in thirty seconds
this restless stirring
so instead
I said
that I was sending love
on Christmas
from the foothills

the Bohemian –
well, he and I,
we surprise me
and suddenly our timing
clicks in a tick
and we make contact
he calls back
while I can still receive
reception

his voice ripples through me
with all his rounded consonants
a few omitted prepositions
his happy laughter
and I remember why
I love him
it doesn’t matter what he’s saying
though “I miss you, Jess!”
is nice to hear

along the river
a Great Heron takes flight
on wings that seem too big
to balance
a body that looks too huge
for flying
but with majestic grace
it moves its weight
in a slow and steady swoop
above the water

the Bohemian recaps the progress of our garden
admits he’s done more planting
but still left some space for me
he fixed those falling towel bars in the bathroom
polished the kitchen counters
cleared some of those fronds out of the yard

outside the windows of my parked car
sandy hillsides slope softly
in winter sunlight
beyond these hills there is an ocean
and in the middle of that sea
is a man with a beautiful accent
puttering around my house
and growing vegetables

there’s a sensation
right about the center of my chest
warm and moving
like honey with a fizz
and it feels good
in this parked car
with his voice right at my ear
he can eat my popcorn
and help himself to my kitchen cupboards
I don’t care

I’m so very happy in these foothills
but now I know the number
the exact amount of days
until I come home

Jessica Dofflemyer ~ all rights reserved