Posted on by Jessica Dofflemyer

Benediction

Something comes from nothing.

Like the miracle of Moses parting the Red Sea, Rex unexpectedly offers four days of Jeb time and suddenly I’m a woman in an empty house with open passage.  My to-do’s get checked and crossed.  Mornings are spent in my turquoise kimono with golden sun and extra time for words.  I spend my evenings at the River House with long-time friends and belly laughs.

We make our way into the Village where the sleek restaurant/bar pulses hip, downtempo beats over bodies milling in black.  I see humans hoping for minor blessings.  Servers ready to go home, hopeful for big tips.  The guys at the bar scanning, wondering if they’ll see a new face in this small town.

A local divorcee faces a woman squarely, four knees barely touching.  The hand with his tattooed wedding ring will reach to brush her in a gesture.  He’s eager with the prospect of leaving the past behind.  His hands planting themselves upon her with more certainty as their glasses empty.  Patrons smile approvingly, they know everyone needs love.  We all seek saving graces.

courtesy of Wikipedia

I drive myself home and ponder the inexplicable.   The sun miracle at Fatima.  1917 in Portugal and thousands of people brought to their knees as the earth’s central star danced the sky with multi-colored hues.  Their bodies blazed in penetrating heat.  The multitudes were pressed to the deepest humbling, at the mercy of the cosmos.  They crossed themselves and readied for certain death – this was the end of the world, for sure.  And then, just as suddenly, the afterglow of stillness.

 

 

The sun hung, just like it always had and they were left to mingle amongst each other, reverberating in phenomena they could not fathom.

As I steer myself to my abode, I sing off-key and loud with Julian Velard‘s Bjork cover tune.  My low-lit house greets me, where I’ll leave the dishes in the sink for another day.  It’s time to rest in open spaces.  Slip beneath soft sheets.  There’s no fanfare here.  No walking on water.  But divinity is present.  I feel the miracle of the greatest something in this nothingness.

Posted on by Jessica Dofflemyer · 6 Comments

I’ll Take Tequila

With looming deadlines, an extra workload and Jeb out of school for two weeks, one false move on my part could mean Game Over.  The pressure mounts and squeezes tight in my own little March madness.  Some days I am weak and looney, others I am strong and clear.  And sometimes I’ve got to just step out of the Game all together.  Sit a spell on the sidelines for a time-out in an easy chair.

In this chair one could embrace a multitude of practices that would help to transcend the mundane, center the mind and calm the nervous system.  Meditate.  Yoga stretches.  A cup of tea.  Or, may I suggest tequila?

You can call me crazy (March has been a bit insane), but is there anything more medicinal then sitting on life’s sidelines with a girlfriend and a curative concoction of agave spirits?  We’re talking top shelf.  Patron with our own mix of lemon, echinacea, ginger juice (nothing like an immune-boost in your cocktail).  Clink, clink and a sigh.  We’re sitting back and taking a breather with distilled, plant-life elixir.  Cheers to moments of reprieve with Mother Nature’s medicine!

I’m not much of a drinker.  And of course, I’m not advocating alcohol become a source for calm.  But with all my kombucha mushroom drinks, vanilla tea, no-sugar diet and kale salads, once in a while a good stiff drink can cure me.  My mind softens just enough to see things with new eyes.  Nothing seems quite as paramount.  When it comes time to leave the sidelines and get back into the Game, I’m more relaxed.

“Hey, let’s have dessert!”

Go home, take a bath at sunset.  Smile at the birds.  Unwind into bed clothes and watch a funny movie with Jeb.  Laugh.  Remember that his precious giggle will change octaves.  Freeze time so I’ll never forget the roundness of his smooth cheeks, smiling.

The ancient yogis laid pathways to these spaces of calm and consciousness.  No externals needed,  just breath.  That’s the purest way to get there and I walk that road as best I can.  I’ll spend a lifetime practicing these methods.

But every once in a while, I’ll take tequila.

Posted on by Jessica Dofflemyer · 2 Comments

My Wardrobe Portal

In the haven of the utility closet, I close the door to the world and soften in the quiet of enclosed space, buffered from sound.  Womb-like and snug, walls are lined with ordered shelves, housing clothing, bedsheets and towels.  The hum of the clothes dryer, like a mother’s heartbeat, warms this nook and brings fresh laundry to my hands.

Alone here, I can fold denim and stack it neatly within my reach.  Maintain order, sort terry cloth from jersey.  I’ll arrange long sleeves, button downs and camisoles by groupings on the hanger.  Line Mason jars filled with sea glass and foreign coins next to the afghan.

If grown-ups have a time out place, then this is mine.  I take my pauses with fluffy balls of lint and liquid detergent.  Spin clean with the whirling cold-water rinse. Wander to inner spaces as I replenish hand towels on the shelf.

Inevitably, there’s an outing – the world calls.  But for me, there’s life in the closet.